Wednesday, June 10, 2009

A First Time for Everything

Today I took a nap. That's right, I stopped all my obsessive cleaning, ignored the DVR full of tv shows, and took a nap. I know I claim to rest and nap all the time, but today I took a REAL nap. Not one of those naps where I lay down and watch tv, or put an ice pack on my forehead and listen to soothing music. Nope, I put on my pjs (OK, I was already in my pjs), closed the blinds, turned off the tv, got under the covers, and slept. It was so nice. Even after my daily phone call, I went back to sleep and slept for another hour.

And you know what, when I finally got out of bed I had energy again. I wanted to bounce around the apartment for a bit and giggle with Nilaja. I was even able to make dinner and wash the dinner dishes, which I haven't done in months. That may not sound like a big deal to most people, but since I usually zonk out mid-meal, having energy to even clear the table is celebration worthy. I am happier than I can express.

Also, I'm still keeping food down, though my stomach has not completely healed. I'm hoping that the steroids didn't cause any permanent damage and by Friday my stomach will be back to normal. Unfortunately, my right eye has not improved one bit, but I'm trying to be patient and optimistic.

Maybe more naps will help.


  1. So sorry the steroids caused you such grief. I've been there myself with bad, bad side effects from other treatments.

    I get the whole dishes thing. I am struggling along with a husband and son and puppy to pick up after and trying desperately to get them to understand that I AM NOT WELL. It's hard because it's invisable and people's expectations therefor remain the same. They do pitch in from time to time, but I have to keep asking. I would like to NOT have to worry about it.

    Rest up and I hope you feel MUCH better soon. I imagine the eye thing is so scary. It's the thing I fear the most with MS.

  2. Thanks. It really does suck when treatment makes you sick.

    I think you hit the nail on the head. Because we don't always look sick, it's hard for people to understand that we have definite limits and need help. Part of my problem is that I often forget to ask for help, I need to work on that too. Though I know what you mean about not having to worry about it at all...

  3. I'll note that there is an incredible sense of guilt when you do not have to worry about it all ;) My partner has been great about cooking, cleaning, walking the dog. But I watch him and he is almost imploding from stress. I then keep trying to 'help', which can set me back, etc. I worry about him a lot. It is hard to find balance when each day is different. Yesterday I woke up ready to go, today sidelined by nausea.

  4. Oh Susan, I worry about it a lot and there's still a huge sense of guilt. We actually had a whole conversation aobut my guilt before Nilaja convinced me to lay down for a bit. I think guilt's a part of all of us no matter what our ability levels are, especially if we were once do-it-alls. I agree, the hardest days are those when I'm too tired to get out of bed and then Nilaja comes home after work and school to cook, clean, and help me shower. Those days suck and I am eternally grateful to her for stepping up and taking care of me the way that she does. As you said, "It is hard to find balance when each day is different." I try to do as much as I can when I'm up for it so hopefully when I'm not on my feet she doesn't have too much to do.