Friday, April 10, 2009

I Love My Wife

OK, I know that's an obvious sentence for most couples, but I don't think it gets said enough. Let me say it again, I LOVE MY WIFE. I realized just how much I loved her during a conversation with my big sister and little brother last night. The conversation turned to my upcoming wedding and my sister mentioned that another family member visited our wedding website, saw that I'm marrying a woman, and changed their mind about attending. Their homophobia isn't new or surprising, but it still shocks me that they can't get over themselves long enough to support me on the happiest day of my life. I realized last night, that despite all of the pain, inability to work, and even the bladder troubles, being with Nilaja has made me happier than I have ever been in my entire life. I don't think I ever thank her enough for everything she does and has done for me. Everyone likes to say how strong I am, but I would probably be balled up in a closet somewhere if she wasn't here taking care of me.

Honestly, I would not have my diagnosis if it wasn't for her. My last ER visit was in December. Nilaja took me to the hospital and sat there with me the whole time. When they diagnosed it as a migraine and sent me home, she was not impressed. Actually, it was the 6 days of suffering that convinced her that I was not suffering from a migraine. I, on the other hand, was not concerned because this wasn't my first atypical migraine or mysterious pain. Despite all of my reasoning and trying to explain my history to Nilaja, she continued to press me to have a follow-up with a neurologist. By February, I conceded and made an appointment, just to make her happy. I am so thankful that never let up and convinced me to pursue things further.

And now that we have it figured out, she continues to be there for me in every way possible. On most days I wake up and my legs are too weak or shaky for me to stand and she holds me up until I am able to walk. In the evening when I'm tired and weak, she makes sure I eat and get to bed. When my eyes get blurry and I can't see my hand in front of my face, she leads me wherever I need to go. Most importantly, when I'm in so much pain that my clothes hurt my skin, she makes me laugh and forget about the pain.

I guess I shouldn't be so surprised, she's always been an amazing woman. I always thought relationships crumble in crisis. Especially a relationship so new as ours. I received my diagnosis 4 days before our first anniversary. I half expected her to start pulling away as she learned what was happening with me, but her response was the exact opposite. We already had our wedding date scheduled for July 19, but she wanted to go ahead with the paperwork and not wait until July. When I started having trouble with the stairs in our apartment, she found us a new place to live and she even purchases a new bed for us when I started having trouble getting in and out of her princess bed. She did not hesitate to step up and take care of me, and even when I'm frustrated and unable to communicate, she remains patient and loving. I couldn't ask for more.

I hope everyone has the opportunity to find someone as wonderful as my wife. Or half as wonderful as my wife, because she is truly one in a million.

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