Saturday, March 14, 2009

My legs, vision, insomnia

I'm sorry I didn't finish writing on Thursday or post anything on Friday, but I've been in the bed since then. It's my legs. The pain started on March 6 and continues to intensify. Even when I'm resting, the pain is nearly unbearable. Plus, there's numbness in my toes, pins and needles running up and down my legs, burning joints, stiffness, and they feel heavy. Since yesterday I've been using my salvaged college cane (without the rainbow ribbon), and I finally ordered a more stylish one since I will need to leave the house soon. Our need to get out of this place has moved from "would be nice" to "has too happen ASAP," so I wrote a letter to our landlady and hopefully she'll have a little compassion and release us from our rental agreement without penalty. If we had the money we would just buy our way out, but we don't. We don't even have the money to pay for the treatment... ::sigh::

And I should also mention my newest symptom. Last night, my eyes continuously went in and out of focus. This isn't really new, as it was one of the reasons I made the urgent appointment with Dr. Friedberg, but it's happening more frequently and I'm having longer periods of blurry vision. It started last night around 8 pm, we were watching tv on the couch and suddenly everything was blurry. I closed my eyes to try to reset my vision, but it would quickly go out of focus again. I wouldn't agree to go to the hospital last night, but I will make an appointment with my doctors and figure out if I need to be concerned.

To top it all off, I can't sleep. I'm always so exhausted, but the best I can do is sit still. During the day I try to get some physical rest, but I can't lay here all night. I've been taking melatonin each night to get some sleep, but I hate taking any sleep stuff so many nights in a row. Mostly I think it's the pain not allowing me to fully relax, but since nothing is helping the pain and it doesn't seem to be reducing on it's own, I guess my only option is the melatonin.


  1. Dear Chris
    Just sending a note to say I praying for you to all the powers that be and sending you love and support. You are remarkable, beautiful and courageous and let me know what I can do to help...Will go to your MS Society page of course, but let me know what else.
    WIth all love to my sister Taurus (i knew you were a taurus girl, too)
    Cathy Lerza

  2. Cathy!

    Thank you so much, your comment made me smile. I'll let you know if I ever need anything.

    Miss ya lots,

  3. Dear Chris -
    I'm stunned! In all the time I have known you.. not long, but I'd like to think long enough to notice you weren't well... I have never once suspected that you might be living with this. You have always been so nice, kind, humorous and so much fun to chat with while waiting for my treatments. I think back on all the times I've complained openly about this pain and that ache and that all seems so trivial in the face of the pain you must be dealing with. When Jerome told me today I was blown away. Your stoic resolve and steely courage are amazing. I hope they are matched too by your ability to let those around you help take care of you as well. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and will definitely stay in touch. (I'll see you before the 29th for sure!) Meanwhile, take care.
    Adrienne Ranft