After another sleepless night, I was not looking forward to running my errands today. I knew that even on a good day those errands would take a lot out of me, so I feared what might happen when my low tank was ran dry. Now I know. Basically, both legs are numb (with mild paralysis- if that's possible), tingling, heavy, and on fire, with occasional sharp pains traveling into my lower back. I am trying to stay mobile, but the numb feet make standing difficult and I'm relying on two canes to drag myself around. It's not pretty.
It all started after doing the blood test. For some reason when they draw blood my body revolts. I was waiting for the bus to take me to Berkeley and the numbness started. It was only in my toes, but I was freaking out. The last time I had a blood test, I had a really strange reaction where my legs were on fire and then I got hypersensitive everywhere. That was terrifying and I didn't want that to happen while I was alone or on the bus.
I made it safely to Berkeley, but I knew I was in trouble by the time I reached my second destination, my old office to pick up my supplements. It's been two months since I've been back there, but it still felt like home. I'm so glad it was my second stop because it gave me a minute to recharge. I was so tired and my pain level was rising pretty quickly. But, seeing the folks in that office (who are truly like family) lifted my spirits. I even got some help with my shoulder pain. I didn't stay long because I wanted to get to Nilaja so I could eat and close my eyes for a bit.
Once I got to her job, I was in bad shape. Nilaja helped me to her car and fed me some lunch, but I think I was already at the point of no return. Shortly after she returned to her office (I'd planned to wait in the car for the last bit of her work day and ride home with her), both legs went numb and I couldn't move them. I've had the numbness before, but never with any type of paralysis. I texted Nilaja who came out to check on me and she proceeded to poke and prod my legs until we were both sufficiently worried. We agreed that the best thing to do was remain calm and give my legs some time to recover.
Unfortunately, they haven't recovered. Getting from the car up to our apartment was by far the hardest thing I've ever done. I couldn't get my shoes on, so I literally dragged my new white socks across the garage floor. Since then, I've been in bed.
I'm honestly really afraid. I feel like I'm getting hit with everything right now and I don't know how much more I can handle. I'm so tired and in so much pain. I hope that I can walk tomorrow.
{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}
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