Bad Day For My Body

After another sleepless night, I was not looking forward to running my errands today. I knew that even on a good day those errands would take a lot out of me, so I feared what might happen when my low tank was ran dry. Now I know. Basically, both legs are numb (with mild paralysis- if that's possible), tingling, heavy, and on fire, with occasional sharp pains traveling into my lower back. I am trying to stay mobile, but the numb feet make standing difficult and I'm relying on two canes to drag myself around. It's not pretty.

It all started after doing the blood test. For some reason when they draw blood my body revolts. I was waiting for the bus to take me to Berkeley and the numbness started. It was only in my toes, but I was freaking out. The last time I had a blood test, I had a really strange reaction where my legs were on fire and then I got hypersensitive everywhere. That was terrifying and I didn't want that to happen while I was alone or on the bus.

I made it safely to Berkeley, but I knew I was in trouble by the time I reached my second destination, my old office to pick up my supplements. It's been two months since I've been back there, but it still felt like home. I'm so glad it was my second stop because it gave me a minute to recharge. I was so tired and my pain level was rising pretty quickly. But, seeing the folks in that office (who are truly like family) lifted my spirits. I even got some help with my shoulder pain. I didn't stay long because I wanted to get to Nilaja so I could eat and close my eyes for a bit.

Once I got to her job, I was in bad shape. Nilaja helped me to her car and fed me some lunch, but I think I was already at the point of no return. Shortly after she returned to her office (I'd planned to wait in the car for the last bit of her work day and ride home with her), both legs went numb and I couldn't move them. I've had the numbness before, but never with any type of paralysis. I texted Nilaja who came out to check on me and she proceeded to poke and prod my legs until we were both sufficiently worried. We agreed that the best thing to do was remain calm and give my legs some time to recover.

Unfortunately, they haven't recovered. Getting from the car up to our apartment was by far the hardest thing I've ever done. I couldn't get my shoes on, so I literally dragged my new white socks across the garage floor. Since then, I've been in bed.

I'm honestly really afraid. I feel like I'm getting hit with everything right now and I don't know how much more I can handle. I'm so tired and in so much pain. I hope that I can walk tomorrow.

So tired.

I'm tired today because I spent most of yesterday walking. I started the day out with 25 minutes on the treadmill and then when I couldn't go back to sleep, decided to leave the house. I got all dressed in my usual costume (black dress, colorful tank top for modesty, black flats, jean jacket, colorful scarf, shoulder bag, and cane) and headed to the bus. I rode all the way over to the top of Solano Ave in Berkeley to have lunch at my favorite Indian restaurant. After lunch, I decided to go to the other end of the of the street to see a movie. I should have taken the bus down, but ended up walking.

Now, I know what you're saying, "Chris, what were you thinking?" Well, I was thinking that if I walked I could pick up some art supplies and then catch the bus the rest of the way. I did get some watercolors, oil pastels, sketching paper, and watercolor paper, and on my way to the bus stop, the bus passed me. I was frustrated. I checked my watch and there wasn't enough to wait for the next one and get to the theater on time. So in my flats, I walked from one end of the street to the other (over 1 mile). Luckily, it was all downhill. But that didn't stop my legs from burning and my brain from rattling.

I made it to see the movie, Sunshine Cleaning, with 3 minutes to spare. After the movie, I took the bus to Nilaja's job and got a ride home with her. I was exhausted and nauseated by the time I got to her. It was awful. But after drinking lots of cool water and resting in the car, I started to feel OK again. Then we got home and I had to walk from the car up to the apartment. Just standing up sent the fire up my legs to my hips. I wanted to scream. That burning is the worst.

Of course I made it up to the apartment and crawled right into bed and took a gabapentin. I was in bed most of the evening except for the few hours I sat at the table being artsy. It was a lot of fun and I even did a watercolor of some pears. I'm not very good, but it was quite relaxing. I still haven't figured out the oil pastels, but hopefully I will soon. I also want to get colored pencils and some other paints to practice using.

Today I'm going to rest. I'm really worn out from yesterday, but I need to get my energy up for grocery shopping tonight. I would love to take a nap, but everytime I fall asleep the phone rings. And I'm a little too tired today for sales calls.