Rant!

I really expected the next thing I post to be details about IV steroids and really getting to the bottom of my eye issue. But I can't do that. I just got back from seeing the eye doctor and I'm so pissed out right now. Not a little upset or frustrated, but so angry that I could spit. First off, she's an optometrist, not an ophthalmologist. This meant that she was much more interested in fitting me for glasses than figuring out why I can't see. We started talking about my impairment and I told her that my eye has gotten so bad that I can't do anything. I have trouble getting dressed, cooking, and even fun stuff like painting and crocheting. So she offered me an eye patch. I kid you not. I have a blindspot in the middle of my eye, all I see as shades of gray, and her solution is an eye patch (I'm really trying not to curse). I wanted to walk out right that minute. Then she asked me several times if I had diabetes and if I knew the signs of diabetes, and I just kept reiterating that my sugar is fine. Then she put in some drops and sent me out to the waiting room again.

At this point I'm so upset that I'm tearing up and I ask Nilaja to step outside with me while I call Dr. Friedberg. Emily, the office manager, answered and I explained everything that was going on. She got my chart and then started explaining to me what the receptionist had noted the day before and Dr. Friedberg's response to that. I know I don't communicate well, but she got everything all wrong. She wrote something about a headache and Dr. F figured it was the occipital neuralgia (my original diagnosis) and that's why he didn't respond. But that's not what I told her. I tried to explain it all to Emily and she seemed to get where I was coming from. Phew! Unfortunately, Dr. F wasn't there, so I have to wait until tomorrow morning.

I went back in and she took some pictures of my eyes before telling me to come back in a few weeks. Oh, and call her once a week to check in and she gave me her home phone number just in case something new comes up. She also gave me some little grid thing she wanted me to work on (whatever). I have no intention of seeing her ever again.

And I'm angry. So very very angry. And disappointed. And scared. The Prednisone is not helping me and I feel like I'm running out of time on this. I wish all these people could understand what it's like not to be able to see. Even the doctor today could see the permanent damage from the first time, and she had no response. Just that I don't have liver disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, or kidney disease. No, I don't. I have Multiple Sclerosis. I have Optic Neuralgia. And it's taking all my strength not to go to the ER or sleep in the hallway outside of Dr. F's office.