I Need Sleep

I know that my struggle with insomnia is old news. I had trouble sleeping long before my diagnosis and I'm sure it will continue until the end of time. Unfortunately, my ability to function on little sleep or poor sleep has greatly diminished. Without adequate sleep, my symptoms are a nightmare. From the moment I wake up, my legs burn and tingle, I feel dizzy, my vision is unstable, and I have cognitive difficulties. Basically, when I wake up I feel similar to how I feel at the end of a long day. Not good.

This is especially true after my most recent episode (we aren't calling it an exacerbation yet) which has left me needing at least 8 solid hours of restful sleep. This isn't much of a problem usually because my schedule allows me to set sleep hours that fit my need. I lay down around 10 pm and on most days I sleep until 8:30 am (sometimes later).

The problem has actually become creating and maintaining the conditions I need in order to have a restful night of sleep. Even with a sleeping aid, body temperature, ambient noise, and room darkness can be sleep deal breakers. Sometimes it means needing 2-3 hours to get over the hump and fall asleep, but more often, it means spending the whole night in a semi-sleep state that results in the same problems as not sleeping plus a weird mental fog. It makes me anxious and I feel trapped inside myself.

I am battling this today. I am out of sleeping aids and even with all my efforts to exhaust myself, sleep is getting more and more difficult. The past few nights I was patient and made it over the hump. But last night I was never able to get over the sleep hump and spent the whole night trying to block out my surroundings and get comfortable. Last night was especially bad because everything bothered me. I even tried to sleep on the couch, but that didn't work and caused more problems. Now I'm in the fog. Ugh! I had so much I wanted to do today, but I don't have the strength or stamina for any of it. Maybe tomorrow, if I can get some sleep tonight.