Revenge

I know I haven't written about the wedding or all the fun I'm having, but I have to tell you that my body has started to revolt. I had complete body cooperation until 9:30 pm on Sunday. Actually, my body was better than it had ever been! I danced non-stop for over an hour without an inkling of pain, numbness, tingling, dizziness, or lightheaded-ness. Once I did start to feel icky, it came on slowly and coincided with the party winding down. It was unbelieveable that I lasted as long as I did. I actually expected to be in the wheelchair after the party and in bed all day Monday, but I woke up with all my vision and no problem with my legs at all.

My symptoms remained relatively nonexistent until last night. I started having a lot of left shoulder/arm pain and weird left foot pain, that didn't respond to any of the OTC pain relievers that I tried. And then I woke up unable to bear weight on my left foot. I don't think it's MS-related, but it could be. I have no idea, but despite today being pretty low-key (we went to the movies) my pain levels are rising. I've actually already done my nighttime "doping" (my medley of pain pills plus a sleeping pill, so this may get really incoherent soon), but am still in agony. I think it's time to call a doctor. Ugh! I really hate calling my PCP and I didn't want to spend this week doing anything medical, but I can't function with one side of my body sore and swollen.

Of course, the pain and the stress over the pain is starting to set off brain stuff. Useless.

And to top it all off, I got the summary of charges from the hospital today. I racked up nearly $68,000 in charges. I don't know what our portion of that will be (they haven't received information back from the insurance yet and we have decent coverage), but the thought of that has me completely freaked out. I'm trying to remain calm and ignore my inner voice which keeps saying, "no more visits to doctors, hospitals, medicine!" I hate that voice, it always pops up when the bills come in. This time I know it's ridiculous and I can't listen to it (even though it will make me more hesitant about future care). But it's there, it's stressing me out, and intensifying my guilt.